Eccentric Eragon Drabbles
by daveypandas
Summary: These are drabbles that will turn Eragon's world upside down.
1. Travelocity

A/N: Every time I read a chapter in Eragon with Orik in it, he makes me think of the gnome from the Travelocity commercials. So then, this cute little story came in mind. Enjoy. And this takes place when Eragon was still living in the village.

Disclaimer: I don't own Eragon or Paolini's literature. But I do own this fan fiction.

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**Travelocity**

_By: animeartist1_

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Orik stood before Hrothgar's throne, trying to solve the reason why Hrothgar wanted him to arrive there so soon. Hrothgar opened his arms out in a welcoming manner and said, "Orik, there is a very important assignment I'm giving to you."

"What shall that be?" Orik asked him. He tried to sound as formal as possible, only it was muffled by curiosity.

The dwarf king sat back down on his throne. "I am told that you have discovered other lands, am I right?"

"Yes, your majesty. I and a few other men have discovered a few small unmapped areas of the Beor Mountains."

"It is exactly what I've heard. You mapped them?" King Hrothgar raised an eyebrow.

"Aye."

"Very well, then. I am appointing you as our guide to many of the dwarf cities and Farthen Dur. Do you accept?"

Orik looked confused. He nervously asked, "I'm sorry, what kind of guide?"

"A guide, you must know, as in for you to observe any acquaintances of the Varden and dwarves who come here as guests. I shall call it…travelocity." Hrothgar rested his chin on two fingers.

"Travelocity?" Orik repeated, dumbstruck. "So I'm supposed to be a guide? And I report to you when I've finished?"

Hrothgar nodded.

Orik stood there, held frozen by confusion. When Hrothgar saw his sonly dwarf to remain standing in the same spot, he raised an eyebrow and said, "Well? Don't just stand there. Get it done."

When Orik noticed, he scrambled out of the throne room as fast as his little feet could carry him. "Sorry," he mumbled.

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A/N: Ahaha. I thought that was a bit cute and funny in a way… 


	2. Eragon x Arya: The Very Secret Picture

A/N: Now it is time to update this story…

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**Eragon x Arya: The Very Secret Picture**

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In the dark, Eragon scurried around the pond to catch a glimpse at Arya, who was bathing all by herself surrounded by plants and trees. Her skin romantically glowed, complementing the cast of the moonlight. The water was still. Eragon smiled as he watched her gracefully move about in the nude.

_This is my chance_, he thought.

Eragon took a calm deep breath, tainted with pure excitement. He grabbed a blank tablet along with ink that he carried with him, closed his eyes, and began to say the spell in the ancient language, pouring the memorized features of her onto the tablet. When Eragon was done, he observed the tablet and compared it to the real person; they almost perfectly looked alike. He grinned.

To avoid getting caught, he stuffed the tablet back into his bag and left.

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A/N: lol…I guess that's the perverted side of Eragon which many people didn't know about. Feel free to review.


	3. How to Accidentally Shoot Blagden

A/N: Here's a less perverted one… Actually, I had a blast writing this. Here ya go.

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**How to (Accidentally) Shoot a Talkative Raven for Dummies**

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Eragon proudly mounted his bow, ready to shoot at any time. He cleared his mind, keeping the target in front of him in focus. _One, two…three! _he counted as he let the arrow go at three. A few seconds later, he heard a loud cry that sounded like 'SQUAWK!', and it came whizzing down from midair.

He stepped up to the bird and realized that it was Blagden.

"Damn," Eragon said. "Not again!"

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A/N: Lol…And Blagden isn't really dead. Feel free to review.


	4. Galbatorix's Momma

A/N: It sure has been awhile since I updated this story – no worries. I dedicate this to all the good Mommas out there.

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**Galbatorix's Momma**

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It was the final showdown in Galbatorix's castle – Eragon with his sword at the ready, and Galbatorix along with his most faithful guards.

"I'm not afraid of you!" Eragon yelled.

Galbatorix shot him a long, nasty grin. "Are you sure about that? Why don't you say that in front of all these nice people?" His guards grinned also as they slowly started closing in – but a loud, slamming door noise had all of them facing the opposite direction.

A little chummy old woman with her hair full of curlers angrily strutted in clear view of everybody. "What's the meaning of this? Why am I hearing racket from upstairs? Knock it off!" Everyone grew into a deadly silence; the woman faced Galbatorix. "What the hell did I tell you about fighting young boys?"

Galbatorix lowered his head. "Sorry, Mum…" he mumbled.

She looked at Eragon. "Blessed my soul! Are you all right? George didn't hurt you, did he?"

Eragon looked shocked. "Um…he kinda did…- George? _George_?" His insides began to cheerfully shake with pure laughter from observing what was going on. Saphira was also giggling harder than she's ever done.

"Well!" the mother placed her hands on her hips and faced Galbatorix once more. "You hurt this boy?"

"…Yes…but for a good-"

"No. Uh-uh, Mister! No way, nuh-uh!" she leaned over and grabbed Galbatorix by the ear, dragging him out of the corridor. You could hear his whimpers from about a mile away.

While this was going on, a guard leaned over and whispered in another guard's ear, "He is _so_ screwed." The other guard nodded.

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A/N: Feel free to review. 


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